When communicating, impulsive behaviors, actions that show acceptance, anger have a terrible effect on your relationship with the other person. All of us are aware of the consequences of failing to remain calm and irrational due to the momentary superficiality. The way we can overcome it is to control our emotions in communication.
When you are aware and in control of your emotions, you can think clearly and creatively, manage stress, create confidence, and easily communicate well with others. But if you don’t control your emotions, you will be confused, isolated, and suspicious.
Have you ever said something out of anger which you later regretted? So, do you let fear talk you out of taking the risks that could benefit you? If so, you are not alone.
Gaining control over your feelings will help youbecome mentally stronger. Fortunately, anyone may become better at regulating their emotions. Just like any other skill, managing your feelings requires practice and dedication.
What are the emotional self-regulation?
In our daily lives, we are faced with many types of emotions, from love to annoyance, even scary feelings. “Emotions are the vibe of each person before things, things, or people.” When you do not manage your feelings will create negative habits such as your whining about life, you often feel helpless about something.
Emotional control doesn’t mean you have to find ways to eliminate or control your emotions. It is about learning how to manage your feelings in all communication situations, no matter how negative the real situation.
One thing in common with successful people is their ability to control their emotions very well. They understand that “emotion is the biggest enemy of success,” and therefore, they learn to control their feelings intentionally.
Now, learn how to control your emotions and keep your emotions positive so that you can succeed in the future.
Learning how to control your emotions has never been easy, especially for young people. However, if you try to train and adjust your feelings every day, you will undoubtedly succeed in mastering your emotions. Here are some lessons on practical, emotional control skills:
Learn to control your emotions by adjusting your body’s actions
When you encounter situations that make your emotions harmful, you must learn to control it. The skill of controlling emotions to bring emotions back to equilibrium is through adjustment of the body by doing a few simple movements such as:
- Take deep breaths: this will calm your mood.
- Change your sitting position, standing position so that you are more comfortable.
- Always remember that actions and movements will have a significant effect on controlling your emotions.
Learn how to manage emotions with wisdom
“Humans need emotional intelligence,” which means they must be able to regulate their emotions with intellect. Emotional intelligence is a rational thought about a situation from which to manage and manage emotions effectively.
Always look at others with a positive and kind attitude; you will avoid negative emotions arising in your soul, avoid emotions that control your behavior. Try to find the good points, the things worth learning of the opposite person, maybe that will help you gain more experience for your life.
You have just been scolded by your boss and forced to redo the report that you took so much effort to complete. Indeed, the emotions that dominate you right now are frustration, frustration, discomfort. But if you think more positively, it may be an opportunity for you to have more time to review and revise your copy or report. As a result, the story will become complete. Your superior will also appreciate you more!
How to control your emotions by using words
When you complain about your surroundings all the time, you are creating a negative feeling for yourself. Stop complaining and instead use words of encouragement and encouragement. It is a way of controlling your emotions that helps you see life more positively so that your feelings become better.
Using words to control emotions is not only useful to you but also helps you to control the feelings of the people in your communication. For example, when you and your colleague are having a heated argument because the two parties disagree. You feel that the opinion of that colleague is inappropriate, not feasible. Instead of bluntly decrying the idea of a colleague that “too bad, too bad, nothing creative …” will lead to negative emotions for the opponent. It is better to replace it with easier words like “your opinion is not bad.” Or you use “I like this point in your idea, but there are some points that are not very suitable.”
There is a saying: “Words do not cost you to buy, choose words to say to please each other.” So instead of saying words that are hard to hear and hurt others, it is best to choose a more pleasant and more pleasant way of expression.
Managing emotions in verbal communication is an indispensable communication skill. The adjustment of language should be applied right from the situations of communication in daily life. Because our relationships are created from communication situations, we experience with each other.
Control emotions by exercising confidence
At first, many people will wonder why self-confidence affects emotional control. The truth is that emotions are an instinct, but controlling emotions is a choice. You use reason to choose whether you should be angry, or should be sad, or should be happy. If you are not confident enough, you will be very skeptical about your choice.
Besides, many people fall into negative emotions also because of a lack of confidence. You find yourself not equal to people. You will be pessimistic and sometimes angry without cause; low confidence makes you feel scared, complicated things. Therefore, regaining confidence is a significant factor in helping you control your emotions.
“One of the factors that kill each person’s confidence in society.” Yes, the society we live in is so good at burying the inherent confidence of any of us. The slander, disdain, disdain of friends, neighbors, colleagues, strangers, even relatives easily “deprived” the precious spirit of each person.
Therefore, having confidence in any communication situation is a way to control your emotions. To gain confidence, you need to practice the following compulsory skills for yourself:
- Firstly, practice how not to avoid the eyes of the person opposite, be courageous to look directly into the eyes of the different person when talking, do not ignore and not avoid.
- Second, turn fear into action, overcome anxiety, and stand up to act. From time to time, you will surely succeed.
- Third, engage, be courageous to try yourself in all areas, in all environments and situations, confidently discover yourself instead of fearing new things.
- Fourth, choose feasible goals, do not select unrealistic goals; this will make you often face frustration.
Bill Gates is perhaps one of the best examples of confidence. It was his confidence in his ability that the billionaire dared to abandon his studies at the prestigious Harvard University to pursue his dream of inventing the first computer software in the world. Confidence is the key to helping us to stand up after falling or fail in life.
Control negative emotions
Controlling emotions is the way we choose positive emotions and manage negative emotions. Negative emotions are the number one enemy of controlling emotions. That is why to control emotions more effectively. Negative emotions need to be eliminated.
To eliminate negative emotions, you need to:
- Eliminate blame culture.
- Absolutely no excuses, be confident and courageous to admit mistakes.
- No more true measurement.
- And in the end, you can increase your positive emotions by throwing away complaints, immediately criticizing them, and increasing your compliments. The more you praise others, the more likely your feelings will be. Become positive like that.
Practicing emotional control skills is a difficult task. Train yourself day by day, according to the five lessons above. Because you can only succeed when you learn to control your emotions. Moreover, you will find that this life always has positive things when you control your emotions. Those positive things will help you have a happier life.
Control current emotions
Stop and refocus
When you feel like you are starting to lose control of your emotions, take a step back to consider what is happening, and focus on how your body feels. This can help distract the mind from feeling overwhelmed and let you focus on the present.
Signs of emotional stimulation, you will experience many physical effects, such as increased heart rate, muscle tension, and short or shallow breathing.
Each person will always develop automatic responses to emotions, which is a form of “habit.” That the brain creates when it automatically responds to stimuli, the agent has to be emotional experiences. That makes you feel out of control with those reactions. However, you can retrain the brain by focusing on the present moment.
Proactively check the body’s response. For example, if you suddenly feel worried, pay attention to how your body feels: “My heart is beating very fast. My hands are sweating. I feel nauseous. ” Recognize and accept these feelings, instead of criticizing them as “wrong” or trying to get rid of them.
Emotions affect you both emotionally and emotionally in a way that makes you feel overwhelmed. Calm down and focus on each one, such as what you smell, what you touch, and what you see. This will help your brain learn to process information more efficiently, making you feel less overwhelmed by your emotions.
Control your breathing
When your body experiences intense emotions, you may enter “fight or run away” mode. This reaction activates your sympathetic nervous system by sending adrenaline and other chemical compounds that make your body tense, increase your heart rate. Also, it makes your breath feel shallow and makes your muscles feel cold, stress, and pressure. At this time, taking deep, regular breaths will help you feel calmer and provide the body with the necessary oxygen to help you relax. Do the following to control your breath
Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach below your chest. Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose when counting to 4. Feel your lungs and abdomen bulge as the air fills them.
Hold your breath for 1 or 2 seconds, then exhale slowly through your nose. Set a goal for 6-10 deep breaths in a minute.
If counting to 4 is difficult for you, you can start counting up to 2 progressively. Just try to breathe deeply and evenly as possible.
Try continuous muscle relaxation
Continuous muscle relaxation (PMR) can help you calm down by systematically stretching and relaxing muscles. It is a great way to relieve stress and pressure. PMR can also help you learn how to recognize the signs of stress in your body.
Give yourself 15 minutes in a quiet and pleasant corner. But if you can’t find such a space, you can practice continuous muscle relaxation even when you’re sitting in a chair.
Sit in a comfortable position, loosen clothes, and take a deep breath.
You can start from the forehead and move down, or from the toes and up. In this example, we’ll start from the toes.
Start by shrinking your toes as tightly as possible. Keep that tension for 5 seconds, then relax. Enjoy a relaxing sensation for 15 seconds, then move on to the next muscle group.
Stretch your calf by pulling your toe toward the most active side possible. Keep that tension for 5 minutes, then relax. Again, let yourself relax for 15 minutes, then continue.
Continue stretching each muscle group for 5 seconds, then relax them. Pause for 15 minutes while relaxing each muscle group, paying attention to how it feels when the tension is released.
Treat each muscle in the following groups: toes, feet, thighs, hips and buttocks, abdomen, back, shoulders, upper arms, forearms, hands, lips, eyes, forehead.
If you don’t have time to stretch and relax all of your muscle groups, focus on those facial muscles. Relaxing facial muscles can relieve tension. Many studies have shown that relaxing muscles and smiling can help you feel happier and calmer.
I am using visualization methods
Some people realize that visualizing a relaxing experience can help us control our immediate emotional responses. It will take time and practice. But once you know how to do it, it will be constructive in changing stress moments into moments that you feel confident handling.
Choose your “safe place.” Also, it could be anywhere you feel quiet and comfortable. That can be your beach, spa, temple, or bedroom. It is just a place where you feel safe and relaxed.
Close your eyes and imagine your safe place. Try to create as much detail as possible. “What sounds do you hear?” “What do you see?”, or “What does it smell?” “What texture do you touch?”
Breathe slowly and evenly. If you feel pressure in your body, try Continuous Muscle Relax or shake your limbs to relax.
Thank you for taking the time to read my article.If you have any questions you need, please feel free to comment under the comment section. We will try to answer you as soon as possible.