Do you rely on your parents when there is something that needs to be fixed at your home?
Do you depend on your colleagues at work?
If you answered yes, then you should listen to what Pandora Poikilos said:
“We are so accustomed to the comforts of “I cannot”, “I don’t want to” and “it is too difficult” that we do forget to realize when we stop doing things for ourselves and require others to dance nearby us, we are not achieving greatness. We have made ourselves quite weak.”
Absolutely. Being too dependent will blindfold you to your abilities. You will never know all the amazing things you can do if you do not try.
So check out these tips to stop being a helpless baby always depending on someone else. Instead, it is time to be self-supporting, get things done and let your awesomeness shine!
1. Get to know yourself
“You can not be independent if you don’t know who you are,”Lancersaid. To get to know yourself more, she suggested journaling and reflecting on what happened during your day.
Ask yourself: “Did I speak my truth?” “Notice the gap between what you are thinking inside and your news and behavior, which you show to the world.” For instance, maybe you said yes to something you didn’t want to do, Lancer said. What could you learn from that experience?
“Fake it till you make it.”
Accept that no one is going to accompany or help you with anything. You are on your own. This is an important mindset because if you keep thinking that someone will come and rescue you, you will end up waiting and do nothing. So knock that off.
Play the pretend game if you have to. Act as if you are all unique in a new city and you know no one. Whatever that you want, you have to get it yourself. Just remember that.
3. Make a plan
“If you do hear a voice within you say that “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and the voice will be silenced.” – Vincent Van Gogh
Now you might be restricted by fear. But the only way to conquer it is to face it head-on. Follow Eleanor Roosevelt’s advice.
Write down all of the things that you want to do in a month. Should start with something small and work up to bigger things. You don’t worry about the results or how others think, empty your mind and do it. This is a great way you gain courage and confidence.
I have always been scared to shop alone and I wanted to change that. So I pushed myself to go window shopping for 30 days continuously. It seems so easy and silly but I struggled. In the end, I’m really happy that I did it and overcame the fear.
“The expert at anything was once a beginner.” – Helen Hayes
When you are learning something new, it is normal to make mistakes or you may be unable to complete them. We learn the most by failing, so don’t take it personally. After all, you are not obliged to score full marks on everything, you just need to try again.
Seek guidance. There are so many how-to sites, Youtube videos and Dummies books. Ask your friends or colleagues for instructions on how to do things you don’t understand. Insist that you do it yourself. Keep on trying until you make it.
Give yourself permission to require knowledge and feel your feelings. And Lancer said, instead of thinking, “ I should not feel this way’” or ignoring your feelings, be a good parent to yourself and comfort yourself. Take time to figure out what calms and supports you and makes you happy.
Again, you become more autonomous means living by “your internal guidance system,” rather than external systems, Lancer said. And it’s key to fulfillment. “We could never feel fulfilled by following someone else’s dreams: independent living is the only method to find true satisfaction,” Judd said.
“Confidence does not come out of nowhere. It is a result of something hours, days, weeks, and years of constant work and commitment.” – Roger Staubach
So, you managed to change your car tire alone? Now you know how to use a new piece of software? Well done! Write down the steps you used to accomplish those goals so you can always refer back to it. Don’t forget to celebrate and keep a record of all your achievements.
These victories prove that you can succeed as long as you’re willing to get your hands dirty and try. Next time when you are feeling a lack of confidence in attempting harder issues, review these triumphs and move forward.
6. Make a habit
“It is not what we do once in a while that shapes lives. It is what we do consistently.” – Anthony Robbins
People are lazy, and it is easy to go back to the old ways – always expecting others to get things done for you. So remind yourself do not treat this as a one month project and then forget about it. You need to continue doing stuff and trying things out whenever you can.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not asking you to end any relationships or you have to be alone. Being self-reliance is a wonderful process of discovering your potential and building a better you.
7. Stop being helpless
Being an independent person means you lose the feeling of helplessness when stuck in certain situations.
Alarmingly, many people would not know what to do if they received a flat tire. They have to sit on the side of the road and wait for someone to come and help them. This is not a difficult task and by taking the time to learn how to do this at home before it happens in real-time, you could save yourself a lot of time, money, and worry.
There are many great examples of this that we take for granted. Regular occurrences that could leave us stranded. So, instead of waiting for it to happen and rely on someone else to help you, take the time to learn the skills so you can be ready.
This is not to say you can do everything. Take the boiler for instance—some tasks need professionals. But I trust if you considered it, you could name several tasks you previously relied on people to do, that you could do yourself with a little practice.
Keep in mind that knowing you can rely on yourself in tricky situations gives a serious boost to your confidence. Your feeling of self-worth grows rapidly when you learn a new task and see it in action.
The objective here is not to distance yourself from others, it is to get closer to yourself and by knowing what you are capable of, that becomes a whole lot easier.
Now it is your turn. Besides these tips, do you have other suggestions on how to be more independent? Please share them in the comments.
Also, you should readsome other articlelike “How to Get Rid Of Bad Breath“, “How to Stop Yourself From Overthinking“, ”How to Stop A Baby from Crying At Night“, and “How to stop hiccups“… to know more!